For a lot of women, we spend so much of our lives doubting our true power. Doubting who we are meant to be and who we can be. We are too fat, too lazy, too undisciplined, and too overwhelmed to live the life of our dreams. I know I fall into the trap sometimes too. But there are ways to make finding your worth easier each day.
I spent so many years hating myself. After almost every single meal I found a way to make myself throw it all back up for years. I just felt like I had to get it all out. The food was forced down because the words wouldn’t come out. I was so withdrawn into my own mind that I could barely hold a conversation with anyone. And when I did, I was usually mean.
On a recent trip, so many people were eating salmon, and it reminded me of this angry, withdrawn bulimic girl I used to be because of salmon. Wild Alaskan salmon is a dying breed; a strong, resilient fish that fights for its offspring and breed. And when I was at my sickest, I ate a lot of it. I can easily tell you now that I don’t like salmon. I hate the flavor, the texture, the everything. I always did; it was disgusting, but I ate a ton of it. Because it was self punishment. It was simply another way of saying, “Lindsey, you aren’t enough.”
When Things Started To Change
I am not perfect by a long shot, but at least I admit to myself, after a few years of therapy, one instant decision to intentionally be kind, and a long road of eliminating crappy relationships from my life, I don’t like salmon. I am worth more than eating foods I can’t stand, worth more than eating foods simply because they come back up easily, worth more than a slowly imposed suicide.
My life has worth. Your life has worth. The most daring thing we can do in life is to live that way. Here’s how to find your worth.
Five Ways to Make Finding Your Worth Easier
Surround Yourself with Good People
There are so many times that we go out with friends and there is a quick cutdown, just a bit of sarcasm, or one of those “It’s just a joke,” that is so much more than just a joke. Instead, find a group of women who build each other up, are kind constantly, and can communicate even through the worst of problems.
Find girlfriends with common interests and gather together regularly to discuss books, cook, paint, knit, whatever makes you happy, and be sure to have plenty of laughs and fun.
Nothing is more of a mood booster than setting and accomplishing goals, especially if it follows a lot of hard work and hustle.
Set a goal, write it down, find an accountability partner if you need one, set a time table, and give yourself a reward when you achieve your goal.
Trust Your Own Feelings
A woman’s intuition is one of her strongest senses, and yet we so often deny it. This seriously holds us back from finding our worth. When we make decisions that our guts don’t trust, we devalue our instincts and make it very hard to make worthy decisions.
When attempting to make a tough decision, weigh the pros and cons, and use your intuition to make the best decision possible. For more on making decisions that honor your greatest good, download this free eBook.
Stop Making Decisions Based on Other People’s Needs
Of course, I would never suggest denying your children’s needs, ignoring your partner, or saying “no” to a reasonable request from your boss. However, too often we surrender to a cycle of saying yes to everything. Someone at work needs help when you don’t have the time. Another person just needs you to join yet another committee. Someone wants you to apply for just one more grant.
Say no. When you spread yourself too thin, you can’t accomplish anything well. The projects that you really want to work on fall to the wayside. You miss deadlines. You drop the ball.
Stop with all of it. Choose to work on what you really want to work on, not what everyone else tells you to work on. For more insight about learning to say no, check out this post.
Furthermore. . .
Stop Making Your Self Worth Conditional on Other People’s Opinions
We live in an era of like and follow overload. We become so focused on other people’s approvals that we forget that the ultimate voice of authority is our own. Instead of spending so much time waiting for others to tell us that we are enough, go ahead and just own your own positivity.
Realistic positive self talk is meaningful and self-affirming. Reminding yourself that you are enough, you are worthy, you have value, and you have power is a great place to start.
If you struggle to find positive things to say to yourself, consider Affirmation Cards, with simple reminders that we all have super powers within us. Super powers like humility, courage, kindness, love, and forgiveness, these cards will quickly remind you that you are enough no matter what other people say.
For more information about my trip to Alaska and to learn a couple of DIYs inspired by the trip, come check out this blog post.
Want to learn more about combining essential oils into your Finding Your Worth routine? Come check out this class on the Feelings Kit.